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5.31.2005 ||> Rambling about the angel who constantly saves my life
Last night, I had the distinct pleasure of talking with my friend Jill for about two hours. When I left Arizona for the wilderness of the east coast, she was leaving for a new chance in a new town as well. When I finally got to speak with her after some months, she told me that she had quit her job and was moving back to Phoenix. She was starting over, going back to school and getting her life back on track. She suggested that I do the same. If I am really that unhappy, then I should come back to the people that love me. Unfortunately for me, I'm not as smart as she is. I'm friendless, have a job that doesn't pay me much, and a very cool apartment that's a bit empty when I get home at night.
I'm not particularly sad about any of this, but I do feel a bit trapped. The reality is that I have a 12 month lease that I don't want to break and eleven months to go. Not to mention the fact that I don't want to give up. I don't want to have to go home with my tail between my legs because I couldn't get my shit together. Also, I realize that the day of/after a break-up is not the day to make decisions of any kind.
Jill reminded me of a friend of hers who was in a similar situation. Six months into moving to Phoenix, she didn't have any friends and a job she liked, but was a dead end. Now she's got a ton of friends (my friends included), in October will be married to a guy that is crazy about her, and just started a job she loves. It's nice to know that things can get better. So, on the bright side, at least things can only go up from here.
Only two and a half weeks ago I thought that I couldn't be more happy. I felt that my life was on track to being what I wanted it to be. Maybe next week will bring me lots of luck.
0 snow blossoms
