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2.08.2005 ||> Just a sucker with no self esteem
When I was 17, I got drunk for the first time. I wasn't sure how much vodka would affect me and I found myself very drunk with my mom about to come home three hours later. My best friend at the time tried to save me by taking me out where I could sober up and no one would be the wiser. (Thanks to my sister, her plan failed.) So she took me to her work, which was this pizza place a couple of miles away. While I was there, she and a very cute guy she worked with forced about a gallon of water down my throat, and he was very nice as he cleaned up the water I kept drunkenly spilling.
Later on, he asked my friend about me and we started talking. We didn't hook up or anything, but it was new and he wasn't in high school, so I felt cool. Then he went to another country and we wrote each other once or twice a month until he came back two years later. By the end, I can't say I was in love, but I was willing to give it a shot. Perhaps that doesn't make sense, but I really wanted to be with this guy, and everyone was convinced that he felt the same way.
Which made it that much harder when, after a couple of dates, he never called me again and never took my calls. It turned out, as the catch phrase goes, that he just wasn't that into me. But here's the kicker: every so often, he does try to get into contact with me. He always has some lame excuse why he cut off contact before, and the first time it happened, I bought it. The second time it took longer, but he convinced me a little that he was sincere and the last time, I just deleted his email outright.
In the past week or so, he's tried again. Twice. I have to ask myself, if he never wanted to be with me, why does he still do this? What is his problem? It's probably a question no one can answer, but all I care about now is that he doesn't bother me anymore.
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