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9.26.2004 ||>
Mlle. Sepra will be using her powers today as an official Babe on a Broomstick to read the future for you. They say the future is everywhere, from the whorls of your fingertips to the motion of stars in the sky. Today, in the third person only, she will seek to deconstruct these age old secrets using the generalization of ... astrology. So please sit back and let the planets be your guide!
Aries: So you're feeling a little railroaded? Easy enough, just use your machete to cut through that red tape. Only have a Swiss army knife? Well, then, stabbing people works nicely too.
Taurus: This fall will have many earthly distractions. You must decide between the flesh of delicious fresh fruit and the flesh of something equally tasty. The question you should ask yourself is, "which one will help me gain or lose the most weight?"
Gemini: Poor Gemini always likes to multi-task. This fall will put this skill to the test, but just remember: beware of crackwhores bearing gifts.
Cancer: Even crabs gotta cry. And most of them do. Let it all hang out at least twice this time around or you'll regret it.
Leo: We built this city on rock 'n roll, but only your personal magnetism will keep it afloat. So keep up the positive attitude and charm the pants off all those naysayers who don't believe Elvis really was at that Wal-Mart in Mobile.
Virgo: Even your social life gets planned to the day this season. Advice: loosen up!
Libra: If you still can't make up your mind on what to do with the whatsit that the one guy gave you that time, it's ok to ask the advice of an Aries. But don't ask a Scorpio because you know they just like to manipulate you. Like last time.
Scorpio: Just kidding about the manipulation thing. Really. No need to get all vengeful, you'll have too much to do this fall anyway and the joy of revenge will play second fiddle to sitting around and impressing people with your intenseness.
Sagittarius: This archer has got his quarry in his sights. Unfortunately, it's still out of reach. But as Sagittarius already knows, anything's possible with the right attitude. So go after what you need this time and the stars will align to help you.
Capricorn: Your symbol is an old goat for a reason. But remember that your work could also use your attention and plan accordingly. After all, some work and some play make Cappy a good goat.
Aquarius: Difficult to believe, but you aren't the only one who hates all these distracting domestic tasks. But if you don't do something soon, your bugs will be bigger than you.
Pisces: You are one landlocked fish. The trick to relaxation? Lots of bath time. Rubber duckies make it even more fun.
0 snow blossoms
